Good Hotel Guide
Hostels and Hotels in Hereford
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Bromyard, Hereford, Kington, Ledbury, Leominster, Ross-On-Wye
For UK travelers going abroad, we recommend Tenerife, with feel of the UK yet all the sun of Tenerife. Read an extract below from More Ketchup than Salsa, the story of a English couple who left the UK to set up life in Tenerife. Info on how to buy the book can be found below.
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Below you will find short extracts from More ketchup than Salsa by Joe Cawley – not to be missed.
Short Extract
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But we still needed someone who could maximise the profit potential behind the bar. In summer, over 90 per cent of our customers were British holidaymakers whose enjoyment is directly proportional to the amount of alcohol consumed. Every empty glass on a table is a missed opportunity at making the till ring. We needed someone who would not only draw customers to the bar and keep them all night, but who would also make sure that the length of time between one drink finished and another started was kept to the bare minimum. If Barry was the antithesis of what we needed, the service station attendant was our apotheosis. We pondered again over the idea of having a Spanish employee, but the struggle we were having in ordering another drink cemented the realisation that our language downfall would make it impractical. We had become friendly with Gary, a satellite system installer who had risen to saintly status, having blessed the Smugglers with the gift of live English football an amenity that was as vital as draught beer in the British holiday pub world. We mentioned that we were looking for part-time staff and it so happened that he and his stunningly beautiful girlfriend, Michelle, were looking for extra work and volunteered to take on a couple of shifts. Michelle had worked behind a bar before and her visual appeal, though some might consider it a sexist notion, provided a definite draw for custom. Her green eyes, blonde hair, tanned figure eight physique and flirtatious manner were the perfect bargirl CV. To even the score, Gary had equally piercing eyes and the body of an athlete. There were no doubts from all four partners that they would be the ideal stand-ins. The couple had relocated to Tenerife after Michelles aunt opened a hairdressing salon in the South initially employing her niece as a stylist. Michelle, like many, had decided that a new life abroad should also entail a move away from the hairdressing job she had stuck at since leaving school at sixteen, and accepted her aunts offer on the understanding that it was temporary.
Bromyard, Hereford, Kington, Ledbury, Leominster, Ross-On-Wye
Wayne was on holiday with his girlfriend, Becky, a pretty but painfully thin slip of a girl who wouldnt have suffered adversely from a couple of weeks of force-feeding. Wayne was an ex-gas fitter who we coerced into fixing our oven when the four rings suddenly developed delusions of grandeur, throwing circles of flames high into the air like four Rolls Royce jet engines. We had attempted to persuade a gas engineer to pay us a visit after Frank had removed the safety catch from the propane bottles but our hopes were not high in securing a return visit in time to stop the kitchen ceiling being cooked. Wayne and Becky were sat at the bar early one evening, when David came out from the kitchen with distinguishably less eyebrow hair than he had gone in with. I think weve got a problem with the gas, he said, and steadied himself with a shot of brandy. Whats up with it? asked Joy.
On a campsite in southern France, fuelled by too much alcohol and exposure to naked flesh, intimacy was inevitable. The holiday romance continued after we returned home and still did three years later inside a dingy pub in Bolton. How do you fancy moving to Tenerife? Joy peered over the rim of her glass. Her eyes searched mine. Uh why? Weve been offered the chance to run a bar, only it needs two couples to run it, so I said I was married.