Good Hotel Guide
Hostels and Hotels in Newport
If you have a hotel in any of these locations then please contact us to list your hotel below, free of charge.
Abergavenny, Abertillery, Blackwood, Caldicot, Chepstow, Crickhowell, Cwmbran, Ebbw Vale, Monmouth, New Tredegar, Newport, Pontypool, Tredegar, Newport, Pontypool, Tredegar
For UK travelers going abroad, we recommend Tenerife, with feel of the UK yet all the sun of Tenerife. Read an extract below from More Ketchup than Salsa, the story of a English couple who left the UK to set up life in Tenerife. Info on how to buy the book can be found below.
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Below you will find short extracts from More ketchup than Salsa by Joe Cawley – not to be missed.
Short Extract
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The French timeshare line in the office above us had renewed their efforts at attracting fly-buys to the Altamira and the hotel was swarmed with more bewildered Galls than they knew what to do with. To take advantage of this new trade, we enlisted the help of Romain, one of the timeshare reps, to find us some entertainment that would appeal both to his nationality and also the Brits. Romain recommended an act called Mystique. Some people take light entertainment very seriously. Their act is their life and more often than not, their life becomes an act. ‘I am Gaston. She is Monique,’ said Gaston as he swept an open hand in the direction of a timid blonde teenager lurking several feet away. Romain had sent them to introduce themselves and for us to see if they’d be right for the bar. The elevated nose and pigeon-chested stance of Gaston suggested that he was seeing if we were right for him. They were a magic act, or ‘illusionistas’ as Gaston preferred to be known. ‘I am a member of the Magic Circle,’ he offered, pausing for a suitably admiring response. None was forthcoming so he continued anyway. ‘Our act is a mixture of son et lumière and tricks of the mind. We can only perform if the conditions are absolutely perfect. The slightest noise will disturb my concentration and there will be a disaster. Your customers will love us. They will want more. We will leave them pleading. You will pay 30,000 pesetas.’ This was roughly £150 at the time, twice the going rate. How long is your act?’ I asked.
Abergavenny, Abertillery, Blackwood, Caldicot, Chepstow, Crickhowell, Cwmbran, Ebbw Vale, Monmouth, New Tredegar, Newport, Pontypool, Tredegar, Newport, Pontypool, Tredegar
There aren’t really seasons as such in Tenerife, merely different times of the year for different types of people. Summer, Christmas and most school holidays, were obviously the time for families and groups of young students. November to April was the time for the pensioners, or ‘fish brigade’ as we referred to them, due to their partiality for ‘a nice bit of fish’. Clickety-click was more or less the average age of our post-summer, pre-Christmas crowd. It was also their favourite pastime abroad. The bingo stalwarts arrived twenty minutes before we were due to start. After ordering tonic waters, cups of tea and for the more daring, halves of shandy, they all sat down expectantly, pens poised at the ready until business commenced. If the first card didn’t kick off exactly at the time stated on our ‘tonight’s entertainment’ blackboard at the top of the stairs, we knew the clucking would begin. It said ten o’clock. It’s ten past now.’ Bloody revolutions had started on the murmurings of less discontent. Six cards were the norm for the specialists and as Joy read out the numbers, the concentration was intense. Comments such as ‘Hang on, I’ve dropped me balls’, as number thirty-three bounced along the floor, were not appreciated.
Both Wayne and David immediately set about cleaning the crockery, glasses and work surfaces while I made my way back to bed. All the food had to be thrown out and the fridge completely restocked. We’d managed to poison twelve people that we knew about, not including ourselves. It had been a costly mistake but the price could have been a lot higher. Both Joy and I managed to make it to the bar that night and were relieved to see a lot of the old faces back. Did you get that bug as well, Frank?’ asked Joy. His colour had returned but his zest for life remained unchanged. He nodded. ‘Couldn’t stop crapping all night.’