B&Bs and Hotels in Redhill

Good Hotel Guide

Hostels and Hotels in Redhill

Got a hotel to list? – any of these locations then please contact us to list your hotel below, free of charge.

Betchworth, Billingshurst, Burgess Hill, Dorking, East Grinstead, Forest Row, Gatwick, Godstone, Haywards Heath, Horley, Lingfield, Oxted, Pulborough, Redhill, Reigate, Crawley, Horsham, Redhill

For UK travelers going abroad, we recommend Tenerife, with feel of the UK yet all the sun of Tenerife. Read an extract below from More Ketchup than Salsa, the story of a English couple who left the UK to set up life in Tenerife. Info on how to buy the book can be found below.

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Below you will find short extracts from More ketchup than Salsa by Joe Cawley – not to be missed.

Short Extract

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We knew it was going to be almost impossible to find anybody that could cook and that would endure the heat and pace of the kitchen for the paltry wages we were offering. The biggest help that we could hope for would be a couple that could come in after all the food had been served, clean up, and run the bar until closing time. This would at least put an end to some of the 3a.m. and 4a.m. bedtimes that we were suffering now it was summer. The most annoying nights were when only one or two tables remained at a relatively decent hour i.e. before 1a.m. Thoughts of an early night would prevail, especially if all remaining tables ordered the bill before midnight. It was hard to resist breathing a sigh of relief and start visualising fleecy bedsheets. But, as Murphy would have it, the plot would always change. Just as the last people were bidding their goodnights, after the floor had been mopped and all the tables cleaned, a taxi-full of young revellers who had been turned out of a club in Las Américas would shatter the calm and crash into the bar like a herd of rabid cattle. Having slowed to almost a standstill, trying to shift from first to fifth gear in one go required a major effort, both mentally and physically. We’d smile, we’d serve, and we’d even laugh at their drunken banter. Tonight’s idiots could be tomorrow’s breakfast crowd and, having been rebuffed by the nightlife downtown, there was also the possibility that they would choose to dump their entire binge budget in our till if we pushed the right buttons. This involved much more than jolly smiles and chirpy banter, however. Picking diced carrot out of the bathroom plugholes was a real delight, especially after we’d already cleaned the bathrooms ready for the morning. Oh, how we would chuckle at that little jape, coming as it did at the end of a 13-hour shift! We also had to persuade latecomers that high decibel renditions of ‘I’m too sexy for my shirt’ were not a particularly good idea at 1a.m., especially as they’d normally be followed by a visit from the local constabulary with threats of arrest and deportation for them, and a stern warning from the community president for us.

Betchworth, Billingshurst, Burgess Hill, Dorking, East Grinstead, Forest Row, Gatwick, Godstone, Haywards Heath, Horley, Lingfield, Oxted, Pulborough, Redhill, Reigate, Crawley, Horsham, Redhill

Joy continued. ‘I didn’t tell you, but I got a phone call from your stepdad before I went to Tenerife. He said that the bar on El Beril, where his apartment is, had come up for sale and he was thinking of buying it as an investment. He asked me to collect the books for him to take a look at. When I called in, the owner said why don’t I take it over. Anyway, when I got back this morning Jack came to pick up the books and I joked about us two running the bar for him. Before I saw you he’d just called to say he’d been talking to your mum, and they both thought it was a good idea. We’d go into partnership with your brother and they’d help us raise the money.’ Whoa, whoa, whoa,’ I interrupted. This was in danger of becoming serious. ‘From having a bar job in Tenerife, we’ve gone into partnership with my brother and into debt with Jack to the tune of a hundred-and-sixty-five grand. All on an island two thousand miles away with a population that doesn’t speak English. And all behind my back. Where exactly does my opinion come into all this?’ Joy became defensive as she always did when she was on the offensive. ‘Calm down. It’s just an idea. Just forget I ever said it and tomorrow we can go back behind that crappy stall and stink of fish for the rest of our lives.’ Several pints later – I suspect that they had been laced a little – the whys and wherefores had progressed to whens and hows.

The following day we visited the community president. Roger was a retired headmaster who spent every other month in Tenerife with his wife, Brenda. Ahh, our very own smugglers,’ said Roger, looking down his nose. ‘Do come in.’ Since taking over the bar and renting Roger’s apartment for the first few weeks we had tried to stay on the right side of the community committee, and Roger in particular. Residential committees can make life difficult for an on-site business owner, regarding commercial enterprises as a necessary evil. We had only fallen foul of the community rules and regulations twice. The first occasion was when Gary and Michelle had forgotten to turn the outside speakers off as required at midnight. ‘Good Vibrations’ were certainly not forthcoming the following day from residents and committee members after The Beach Boys had warbled well into the witching hour.